Comment of the Week

I usually don’t award this distinction, but Hoverfrog definitely deserves to be recognised for this:

hoverfrog Says:
29 September 2008 at 7:49 am edit

Did you get bored with Friendly Atheist? You’ve been conspicuous by your absence….if that makes any sort of logical sense?

Rev. Reed Braden Says:
29 September 2008 at 3:15 pm edit

I didn’t get bored. I’m just terrible with keeping up with forums. I read over 100 blogs, write my own blog, record my podcast, occasionally pump out an article for the local paper, freelance with photography, go to class, masturbate vigorously, and by the end of the day there’s really nothing left to do but collapse on the floor in a puddle of sweat and vomit and try to remember if I forgot to eat.

:-P

hoverfrog Says:
30 September 2008 at 9:09 am edit

You could try combining some of those activities. A podcast of you wanking might appeal to some. You could knock one out while taking photographs but try not to to that when you’re photographing a wedding or family get together. There’s always playing with your lunch box while eating, that’s best a shared activity though and not one to do when you’re eating chilli or anything that stains. Masturbation really can be combined with almost any other activity, one of many reasons why it’s so great.

Depending on how vocal you are, of course.

Thanks for playing Hoverfrog.  Tell him what he won!

Hoverfrog wins a year’s supply of envy from his peers–the San Francisco treat–and a case of 100% pure smugness!  But wait!  You also get a copy of Homosecular Gaytheist: The Home Game!  It’s a wild and wacky game to play with family or friends:  Just open your window and argue to the point of tedium with anything that moves.

I’ve been waiting forever to do something with that Don Pardo picture.

Retard With Video Camera Makes Ridiculous Advert

Here’s ProtectMarriage.com’s first TV advertisement for Proposition 8 which aims to amend California’s constitution to ban gay marriage.

Remove all sharp objects from arm’s reach before watching this video.

Here’s a transcript of the exceptionally whiny and fallacious advert:

San Francisco Mayo Gavin Newsom:  This door’s open now.  It’s gonna happen, whether you like it or not.

Narrator:  Four judges ignored four million voters and imposed same-sex marriage on California.  It’s no longer about tolerance:  Acceptance of gay marriage is now mandatory!

Then the annoyingly pear-shaped “Professor” Richard Peterson of Pepperdine University School of Law walks on screen and says,

That changes a lot of things; people sued over personal beliefs, churches could lose their tax-exemption, gay marriage taught in public schools.

Narrator:  We don’t have to accept this.

Newsome:  Whether you like it or not.

Narrator:  Yes on 8.

(PWNage after the fold)

Google: No on Prop 8

Google co-founder Sergey Brin wrote on The Official Google Blog:

As an Internet company, Google is an active participant in policy debates surrounding information access, technology and energy. Because our company has a great diversity of people and opinions — Democrats and Republicans, conservatives and liberals, all religions and no religion, straight and gay — we do not generally take a position on issues outside of our field, especially not social issues. So when Proposition 8 appeared on the California ballot, it was an unlikely question for Google to take an official company position on.

However, while there are many objections to this proposition — further government encroachment on personal lives, ambiguously written text — it is the chilling and discriminatory effect of the proposition on many of our employees that brings Google to publicly oppose Proposition 8. While we respect the strongly-held beliefs that people have on both sides of this argument, we see this fundamentally as an issue of equality. We hope that California voters will vote no on Proposition 8 — we should not eliminate anyone’s fundamental rights, whatever their sexuality, to marry the person they love.

Posted by Sergey Brin, Co-founder & President, Technology

Google’s motto is “Don’t be evil.”

Governor Ah-nold Schwarzenegger (R, CA) has stated that he opposes the proposition on the grounds that the state constitution should not be amended on this issue.  Senators Dianne Feinstein (D, CA) and Barbara Boxer (D, CA) and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D, CA) oppose the proposition.

The Los Angeles Times and The New York Times have run negative editorials about Prop 8. (LAT, NYT)

The Mormon Church has made an official statement supporting the proposition and are eligible for loss of tax exempt status. (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

Ariana Huffington Raped My RSS Reader

I get the daily email update from Huffington Post and I get email updates whenever my favourite authors write for the megablog, but I gluttonously felt like I needed more… so I did the lefty liberal thing and subscribed to their RSS feed.  I must have gotten at least a bajillion posts flooding my RSS reader today from Huffington post.  I read over 120 blogs and webcomics via RSS and so I’m used to taking an hour or two to skim my reader whenever I’m away from the computer for more than a few hours, but this is absurd.  With over 120 RSS feeds shitting into my reader over half of today’s posts were from Huffington Post.

And I thought PZ’s feed was ridiculous… I was wrong.

Common Misconceptions About Obama’s Platform (Part 2: National Defense)

There is another common misconception that is less about Obama in general and more about the Democrats vs. the Republicans, and that is the idea that Republicans are by their nature,  more knowledgeable about national defense.

The following points are from (http://www.barackobama.com/issues/defense/)

Rebuild the Military for 21st Century Tasks: As we rebuild our armed forces, we must not simply recreate the military of the Cold War era. Obama and Biden believe that we must build up our special operations forces, civil affairs, information operations, and other units and capabilities that remain in chronic short supply; invest in foreign language training, cultural awareness, and human intelligence and other needed counterinsurgency and stabilization skill sets; and create a more robust capacity to train, equip, and advise foreign security forces, so that local allies are better prepared to confront mutual threats.

Barack Obama recognizes the need to modernize and properly equip our military units. Warfare in the 21st century is conducted on such a myriad of fronts simultaneously that it’s impossible to continue fighting solely on the front of our brute strength and place no faith in the efforts of negotiation.

Leadership from the Top: Barack Obama and Joe Biden will restore the ethic of public service to the agenda of today’s youth, whether it be serving their local communities in such roles as teachers or first responders, or serving in the military to keep our nation free and safe.

Barack Obama recognizes the need to activate the population in service to their country, even if it’s not in a military function. It is a citizen’s right and responsibility to somehow protect or serve his or her country.

The most important part of the American military combat strategy is the commander-in-chief, and the guy in that position the last eight years has been failing rather spectacularly, so it’s obvious why the need is so dire for a change in leadership and a change in direction.

The idea that a person whose first reaction is peaceful negotiation, not clusterfuck nuclear missle strike, is not concerned about national security, is simply ludicrous. The idea that this person, simply by preferring negotiation, would not use equal and responsive force in dealing with any clear and present danger to the United States of America.

- CJ

Foiled Again!

I referred to today as the day when Matthew Shepard died 10 years ago… twice.

VJack at Atheist Revolution posted that information this morning, but has since corrected it.

Matt is still guest posting for the occasion and it will be published on 11 October, the night before Matthew Shepard was pronounced dead.

I’ll get you next time, VJack… next time!

Atheism, Homosexuality and Suicide

I’ve been holding onto this post for a while and I didn’t really want to open up on this subject here.  A few things have made me reconsider that position and, in hope that I can help at least one other person, I will finally share it.

I’ve talked before about at least one of my suicide attempts, but only as an example of the effects of indoctrination.  Now I want to talk about what caused my suicidal thoughts in the first place and why I no longer feel the need to kill myself.

I’m posting this today because it is the tenth anniversary of the murder of Matthew Shepard and also the fourth anniversary of my first real suicide attempt, although the one that I was hospitalised for happened about a month later.

When I was a sophomore in high school I began to realise I was gay.  This wouldn’t have been a problem, but I was a conservative Southern Baptist and both of my parents taught my Sunday school class at church.  I had a “problem” with pornography a few years before this and my pastor’s first question was, “Was this normal porn with one man and one woman?” so I already knew where my church (and, talis qualis, God) stood on the issue.

This tore me up.  I was a Bible literalist in those days and I had fretted for months over Mark 3:29 where Jesus says that blasphemers of the Holy Spirit are irreversibly doomed to Hell.  My short stint as a pseudo-Pagan after I left Roanoke Catholic School ensured I was definitely guilty of that.  So with the multiple outright condemnations of homosexuality in both the Old and New Testaments, I knew for a fact that I couldn’t possibly be gay and be saved.  I  tried very hard to be straight.  I went back out with my ex-girlfriend from freshman year and, after her, I went out with eight other girls in the course of eighteen months, trying desperately to find one who fit me.  I was like a horse in Foot Locker trying on every shoe, blatantly ignoring the blacksmith down the street.  During those two years, I would start a relationship and be ecstatic about it then as I got bored with each girl I would get depressed and suicidal until she broke up with me and I would be happy again.  The cycle continued well after I was improperly diagnosed (later struck from my medical record) with bipolar disorder.  I tried to kill myself multiple times and threatened to do so almost every other week for almost two years.

One cannot healthily be gay and serious about Christianity and no amount of brainwashed psychobabble can convince me otherwise.

After one of the more serious suicide attempts, I spent a week in the Lewis Gale Hospital psychiatric unit in a room next to a flamboyantly gay cellist.  Every time we met in group therapy meetings, I felt like I was looking into a terrible image of what I was going to reluctantly become… if I let myself slide down that sinful slope.

Against the doctor’s orders, my pastor and youth pastor, when they visited, tried to counsel me.  They told me things that went against what my doctor told me.  My doctor told me that my “homosexual tendencies” were natural and I, “might be gay or [I] might not be, but it’s a good thing to explore,” hastily adding, “safely.”  My pastors, though, steered clear of mentioning that dirty H word (and, worse, the dreaded G word) and told me that if I, “made myself right with God, all would be better.”  In essence, if I forced myself into heterosexuality I would once again be “right” by God’s standards and I wouldn’t continue trying to end my life every few months.  It hadn’t occurred to me at this time that this was exactly what I had been doing, and it led to and escalated my attempts at suicide.

(Continued after the fold)

Welcome Matt

I’m adding Matt as a temporary author today.  He’s a gay student in the US Midwest and I’ve asked him to write about being gay in that environment for the 10th anniversary of Matthew Shepard’s brutal murder.

Not until 11 October.  Sorry.

Milk Preview

A lot of what I hear in this preview–”If homosexuals are allowed their civil rights, then so would prostitutes or thieves or anyone else.” “…social deviance…” “Society can’t exist without the family.”–is presented as history in the upcoming Gus Van Sant film Milk starring an ancient yet hot Sean Penn, but this is shit we still hear every day in the US, especially in the south.

If this film is as good as the preview seems to be, this may go down as one of my favourite films of all time… unlike the previous Hollywood-giant “gay” film about straight cowboys raping each other out of desperation.  I firmly opine that anything Van Sant touches turns into gold.

Gus Van Sant is openly gay and Sean Penn is an agnostic.

Gay Republicans? WTF

I met an out-of-the-closet gay Republican yesterday.  Needless to say, I was floored.

There’s a reason why there are so few gay Republicans.

The following is a pamphlet from the Democratic Party booth at Roanoke’s Pride in the Park.  Click to embiggen images.

(More after the fold)

Twittering the Debate/Non-Debate

No matter what happens tonight, whether it’s the long-awaited Obama/McCain debate or an impromptu Obama rally, I’ll be Twittering my thoughts on what is being said and what is going on.

Until then, I’m going to go bake cookies (and possibly some more Rachel Ray’s Hotdog Lobsters) with one of the best fag-hags in the world.

No bailout!

Ok, kids, we’ve known that this subprime loan thing was going to be horrible at least two years ago. Why did our government wait until now to act? Simple, they want an artificial crisis so that there’s an urgency to act, instead of think. William Greider at the Nation has one of the best plans, in my opinion.

Gods of my forefathers, it’ll be nice having a competent government again.

- Dick

Satinism

Click to embiggen.

superpoop.com

All Aboard The Failboat to Depression!

From Shipment of Fail:

Click to embiggen and read.

British Army Apologises to Lesbian Soldier

From The Advocate:

British Army Apologizes to Harassed Lesbian Solider

The British Ministry of Defense apologized to a lesbian soldier who claimed that a male sergeant sexually harassed her, BBC News reports. Lance Bombadier Kerry Fletcher, won a lawsuit filed in 2007 against the ministry.

Fletcher said that the staff sergeant accused of the harassment and other male colleagues tried to sabotage her career because she turned down his advances. He pestered her for sex and sent her inappropriate text messages, she says.

Fletcher, 32, was a 10-year veteran who retired from the Army in February.

In addition to the apology, she is seeking £400,000 ($714,000) in damages. She will be notified how much of the damages she will receive within the next four weeks. (Michelle Garcia, The Advocate)

In the US, this couldn’t possibly happen.  As soon as the lesbian filed suit, it would be an admission of homosexuality and she would be legally removed from the armed forces under Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and the Army would forget she ever existed and suppress news of the harassment under the catch-all bullshit term of National Security.

Sigh.

Fuck PETA. Fuck them. I fucking hate PETA. Fuck.

WARNING:  This post contains titties after the fold.

For those of you who don’t already know, I FUCKING HATE PETA.  I like to be able to enjoy my life at the top of the food chain, a position that took us a really fucking long time to attain, without anaemic hippies throwing paint on my leather and wool jackets and protesting at my grocery store where I go to buy beef.

Now PETA is attacking two gods of the food industry.  Two wonderful upright citizens whose only crime is making the entire lactose-tolerant world smile.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow’s milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman

[...]

PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.

“The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn’t make sense,” says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. “Everyone knows that ‘the breast is best,’ so Ben & Jerry’s could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk.”

Now don’t get me wrong:  I may be gay, but I love boobies.  Boobies are fantastic balls of joy that have the power to make men and women of any orientation happier just by being present.  I do NOT, however, want to take a big bite of Chunky Monkey and chew it around my mouth for a while wondering why it tastes funny… only to read the label saying “100% Human Milk.”  Wrong wrong wrong!

What’s this really about, McCain?

McCain is suspending his campaign for President a little more than a month before the election and is asking Obama to do the same.  He said, “I am calling on the president to convene a meeting with the leadership from both houses of Congress, including Senator Obama and myself.”

There is an important presidential debate on Friday that many McCain critics have speculated Obama would have been much better prepared for than McCain.  He is calling for this to be delayed.  This will also affect the much-awaited Biden v. Palin vice presidential debate planned for 2 Oct, which was going to be Biden’s first major epic win in this campaign, Biden being an intelligent, experienced politician and Palin being a retarded hockey mom.

Something tells me that if McCain’s campaign were going more smoothly than it has been or McCain picked a better VP, this would not be happening.  It’s reminiscent of the tacky, We can’t party while there’s a hurricane on the other side of the country, business during the Republican National Convention which was essentially a way to shame the previous Democratic National Convention for its extravagance since they couldn’t out-do them.

This reeks of “humbler than thou art”.

(More after the fold)

OBAMA’S MOMMA!

Highlights of the rant:

…knockin’ up women all over the Kenyan village of Africa.

Silly me, all this time I thought Africa was a continent, not a village in the African nation of Kenya.

My momma told me, and I trust my momma, and her momma told her, and she trusts her momma, and I trust both of ‘em

My momma’s momma told me that blacks have no business in polite society and she refers to blacks as “pickininnies”.  She is not a reliable source of ethical principles just because she happened to have birthed the woman who, several years later, birthed me.  If everyone thought like their grandmothers, you would still poop in a different public restroom than I do, Reverend.

…was a sloozy, was a floozy, was a low-life snail-eatin’ white woman!

Them’s fightin’ words there, Jesus man.

and if you don’t like it, go tell my momma that you don’t like it.

Okay…

Dear Mrs. Loudman,

Your son, Rev. Cray Z. Loudman set black culture back seventy years on his Internet video by proclaiming that white women who sleep with black men are vile and disgusting whores, propagating the disgusting belief that white women are of a better race than black men and for a white woman to step down from her caste to be with a lower-caste black man is akin to prostitution and sexual deviance of the worst degree.  He then passed the blame onto you and your own mother.  Out of respect for you, I was deeply offended by what your son did to Black America and your dignity as his mother.  I didn’t like it.

Sincerely,
Reed Braden

…the trashiest thing since the Staten Island landfill.

The landfill in Staten Island is called the Fresh Kills Landfill.  When it was in operation, it was actually very well-organised and efficient and it had good odour control.  The landfill was shut down and the site was cleaned and is being converted into a public park.

Also, Ann Dunham, Barack Obama’s mother, was born in 1942 and the Fresh Kills Landfill opened in 1948, so she is not, “since the Staten Island landfill.”  The landfill was created after she was born.  Sorry.  Try some fact checking next time you attempt to be snarky.

Leave Bristol Palin alone!

He’s the black Chris Crocker!

Hey, John Roberts, you gotta daughter?

I couldn’t help but imagine a terrible scenario when he said that.

Hey!  …  Hey!

Hey you!  Yeah, you!  Listen to me when I’m talkin’ on this here streetcorner!

Let’s find out what your homosexual children are doing.

Okay… but I have a feeling you’re not going to like it, sir.

You wanna get down ‘n’ dirty?  C’MON!

Every night, Jesus man… every night.

So… so… so… there you have it.

So… so… so… I don’t know what it is you gave me to have.

All I have to say to counter the whole 8 minutes of this video is that Obama’s grandmother wasn’t a governor pushing for abstinence-only sexual “education,” so her daughter’s pregnancy is not politically relevant.  The relevance of Bristol’s foetus is that it is proof of the ineffectiveness of abstinence-only “education” as a means of preventing teen pregnancy and the reaction to it from the McCain camp was one of brazen hypocrisy.

Poe’s Law?

(Tip o’ the hat to Friendly Atheist)

UnNews:Large Hadron Collider ‘destroys God by accident’

(From UnNews)

11 September 2008

GENEVA, Switzerland – Concerns that the Large Hadron Collider might destroy the Earth proved unfounded on Wednesday, but scientists warned that they may instead have accidentally destroyed God shortly after powering up the machine.

Detectors in the $1000000 billion machine recorded a massive outburst of Higgs bosons, nicknamed the “God particle”, about 3 seconds into the first experiment. Scientists speculate that God may have accidentally strayed into the high-powered opposing beams of protons the collider generates, and been disintegrated.

“We detected so many Higgs bosons in such a short space of time, there’s little chance God could have survived,” said Dr Tara Sheers, a particle physicist from the University of Manchester.

Despite the unexpected results from the collider’s first day of operations, the public should not be concerned over the safety of the machine, said Professor Jim Vordee, a particle physicist at Imperial College London.

Moreover, today’s accident should not greatly impact the world’s major religions, he said.

“From the results of today’s experiment, we can conclude that while God probably did exist, He probably doesn’t now.

“Theologically speaking, this is much the same position we were in on Tuesday. It’s ironic that at the very instant that we had scientific evidence of the existence of God, He most probably ceased to exist.”

Officials at the organization that operates the collider – the European Organization for Nuclear Research, better known by its old acronym CERN – have yet to make a statement on God’s probable destruction.

However, Steve Myars, head of the accelerator and beam department at CERN, said some sort of letter of apology and condolences to the leaders of the world’s major religions might be in order.

“We really didn’t mean to ‘do a Nietzsche’ as it were, and kill God, but then again, God’s been dead for over three hours now, and things still seem to be going on pretty much as usual in the universe.

“God may have been destroyed, but it’s not the end of the world.”

God’s next-of-kin Jesus could not be reached for comment.

More search terms…

Here are more of the terms that people used to get to my blog in the past couple of days.

I shouldn’t have to say this, but this blog is not gay porn.  I haven’t yet sunk to that level.

Sunday
brent corrigan
corrigan
“arianna huffington” tits    I think I just threw up a little bit.
barack obama bake-a-rama
gays for obama
palin the slut    Great name for a band, no?
i’m expected to mourn dead americans    Khalid Sheikh Mohammed reads my blog?
drinking game ball peen hammer    It’s a fun one.  Best played with Jäger.
palin slut daughter
brent corrigan 2008

Saturday
brent corrigan
palin slut
barack obama bake a rama
do you think bristol palin is really pretty    Nope.
katherine blackmon-solis    That’s my cousin, who is not affiliated with this blog.
palin slutty daughter
gay men who only penetrate    That pulled up my blog??? Quite the opposite, dear.
sarah palin slut daughter
letter g connect the dots for kids    There must have been a very confused toddler and its horrified parent reading my blog recently.
bristol palin slut