(2:43:54 PM) Twitchels: oh and im a little worried that i could maybe possible be pregnant
(2:44:34 PM) Reed: Go to the doctor and have it sucked out of you. It’s a cancer.
(2:45:01 PM) Twitchels: i dont know if i am yet…i had unprotected sex and forgot my pill for a few days
(2:45:12 PM) Twitchels: and im not getting it sucked out of me even if i am pregnant
(2:45:42 PM) Reed: Jesus, don’t ruin you life because you forgot the pill
(2:49:01 PM) Twitchels: and i would never get an abortion
(2:49:08 PM) Reed: Why?
(2:49:21 PM) Twitchels: idk..its just not something i would do
(2:50:24 PM) Reed: It’s not a baby if you catch it early. It’s a blob that will grow into a baby… which will in turn grow up to suck away all money you ever make, force you into the lower class at your age, and most likely ostracise you from family and friends.
(2:58:39 PM) Twitchels: its only been like 2 weeks since the actual sex…but i had unprotected sex sunday too
(3:02:33 PM) Reed: Well, since you’re anti-abortion for some odd reason, I hope you’re not pregnant. That will seriously hinder your ability to move forward in life and dramatically increase your chances of trying to pull out a third mortgage on a double-wide at some point in the future.
(3:03:00 PM) Reed: My best advice would be to smoke and drink a lot, do a lot of drugs and fall down as many staircases as possible.
So… am I pushing this anti-choice-but-pro-abortion thing too hard?
…
<sarcasm>No, of course not.<sarcasm/>
Comment by John Morales — 28 October 2008 @ 9:43 pm
Yeah you are. If people don’t want to do something, forcing your view on them wont help anyone, will it? Even if you aren’t religious, I would suggest an abortion is a pretty personal thing and you certainly wouldn’t go out of your way to have one.
On the other hand, if she’s really pregnant, it would be nice if she had enough good information to make a properly informed decision … and the suggestion of falling down stairs is probably on par with saying some man reckons a book says that some god will send you to hell if you murder its unborn soul … ;-)
Comment by Michael — 28 October 2008 @ 10:35 pm
Why are my readers still unaccustomed to sarcasm. Twitch is a good friend and knows I was on a Vicodin-fuelled sarcasm trip.
Comment by Rev. Reed Braden — 29 October 2008 @ 12:36 am
:)
Rev, I’ve been following your posts for ages via Planet Atheism.
What gets me is, you’re actually saying this was a real conversation and not made-up? Wow.
Comment by John Morales — 29 October 2008 @ 12:48 am
Nope. I’m a first time reader and now I’ll be coming back for more! :D I LOL’d hardcore.
Comment by Lynn — 29 October 2008 @ 1:46 am
John, if this surprises you, you should hear me at Waffle House or Dunkin Donuts at 1-3 AM. Some people have filters between their brains and mouths. I have an amplifier and an accelerator.
Lynn, this isn’t hardcore. Laughing while getting kicked repeatedly in the testicles is hardcore. I have not yet reached that level of hardcore.
Comment by Rev. Reed Braden — 29 October 2008 @ 2:00 am
Wow, you’ve just caused a militant atheist to say to himself “ohh… jesus!”
Comment by Jay — 29 October 2008 @ 4:20 am
I am officially reconsidering my stance on selective mandatory sterilization.
And Daniel-Craig-As-Bond is my new hardcore hero, what with his ball-itch and subsequent ball-spanking.
Comment by pithandwit — 29 October 2008 @ 1:03 pm
loved the sarcasm. you can never encourage too much the fact that it is a booger sized clump of cells, a tumor, that will destroy the life that they THOUGHT they were going to get and turn it instead into a nightmare they will NEVER escape from. A baby is permanent, forever.
And being a parent. Gets harder every. single. fucking. day.
FUCK THE FUNDIES STANDING OUTSIDE THE WOMAN’S CLINIC!!!!!!
AARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! $%&%$#$#$^%&%*&^%
Comment by Fiery — 29 October 2008 @ 8:07 pm
Hahahahaha! This whole post made me laugh. Are you being a little hard on her… yeah, maybe. Remember that not everyone shares your viewpoint (even if I do and support your view on abortion); I still can understand though that she would be hurt after that. Very funny nonetheless…
Comment by Cereal — 29 October 2008 @ 11:39 pm
Fiery, darling, did your keyboard a splode?
Comment by Rev. Reed Braden — 30 October 2008 @ 3:11 pm
Here’s the advice you give in a situation like this. Step one, get a test to find out if you are pregnant (if not, you can stop there and use birth control next time). Step two, consider abortion (if you decide to, you can stop there). Step three, consider adoption. If you can’t bear the idea of abortion and are not ready to be a parent, that’s the way to go.
Comment by cathy — 2 November 2008 @ 11:38 pm
Thank you for this. It makes me happy that someone out there is disgusted by this kind of situation. I realize this is an exchange between you and a friend, but someone somewhere is in the same situation! If you are anti abortion, keep your slutty legs together. If your too stupid to do that, then you deserve to have your life ruined. Children are wonderful when they are wanted and planned for by a happy family who is ready to accept the burden. But when a teenager gets pregnant, it ruins their life. No matter how you look at it SOME aspect of your life is negatively affected by children. That’s why I’m pro choice. I know I am not responsible enough to care for a baby and don’t want to waste 9 months carrying something I know I will never care for. If I were to ever get knocked up I would be first in line at the abortion clinic.
Comment by Melissa C — 2 November 2009 @ 10:45 pm