Heather Has Two Mommies

I went to the public library today to register for a library card.  While I was there, I looked through the card catalogue. (No, not a real card catalogue… it’s computerised and not nearly as cool as a drawer full of index cards.)

Out of curiosity, I searched through the catalogue for children’s books about homosexual parents.  There are a lot of gay couples in the Roanoke area and some of them have children.  It’s important that the children have access to materials that can reinforce their self-esteem, especially with the level of intolerance that many (if not most) heterosexual couples teach their children in the Southeast United States.

The books Daddy’s Roommate, King And King and And Tango Makes Three were nowhere to be found.  Even young adult books with gay themes like Geography Club, Rainbow High and The Outsiders were conspicuously absent.

The one homosexual-themed book for young audiences they had was Heather Has Two Mommies.  I went to the children’s section to look at the book and was shocked (Yes, it’s naïve that I didn’t expect it.) when I found half of the pages ripped out and the other half covered in graffiti along the lines of, “FAGGOTS RUIN CHILDEN [sic],” “HEATHERS MOMMIES ARE GOING 2 HELL [sic],” and “DYKE!”

I was about to set the book back on the shelf and leave, defeated, but I thought about what a daughter of two lesbians would feel if she found the book like that, and I returned to the shelf and brought the book to the counter.

Here’s that exchange as best as I can remember it, and since I just got back from the library, I’ll make it all authory and stuff.

Episode 29: Inappropriate Dinner Conversation

WARNING! Those prone to discomfort during conversations about abortion should not listen to this episode… or have dinner with Reed.  In fact, never have dinner with Reed, ever, no matter what.

Katie is away with Family this weekend, so Caroline is filling in for her tonight.  Katie will be back early next week and we’ll put out an early episode then.

Much thanks to the Audacity Recovery Utility.  The developer of this utility can show up at my apartment at any time to claim his free “You Saved My Life Blowjob”.  I’m going to pull out my hair and get some sleep now.  Six hours is far too long to fuck with a 24-minute episode.

[Direct Link]

Do Ask, Do Profess…

Reed fed me this article and I couldn’t not offer a response:

Anti-terror law requires God be acknowledged (11/28/2008)

Don’t worry, it’s just in Kentucky.  But in Kentucky, they’ve pretty much decided that the government alone cannot protect Kentucky’s citizens from terrorism.  Or at least, State Rep. Tom Riner (D, for delusional) has decided that.

“This is recognition that government alone cannot guarantee the perfect safety of the people of Kentucky,” Riner said. “Government itself, apart from God, cannot close the security gap. The job is too big for government.”

Honestly, if I lived in Kentucky, I’m not sure I’d feel as safe with this provision, even if I were a Christian or similar monotheist.  We’re going to put millions of dollars into these efforts to protect us, but we’re going to assume it isn’t enough?   Yikes!

Now, I am an atheist, which makes it scarier.  We’re going to put millions of dollars into these efforts to protect us, but we’re going to place our ultimate trust in some imaginary oxymoronic protector we “all” just happen to believe in?  Well, I feel safer already!  (The obvious theistic privilege and discrimination is just too obvious to bother expanding on.)

But have faith, dear readers (pun intended): there is hope in Kentucky.  I think State Sen. Kathy Stein (D, for duh), said it best:

“It’s very sad to me that we do this sort of thing,” said Stein, a frequent critic of efforts to mix religion and government. “It takes away from the seriousness of the public discussion over security, and it clearly hurts the credibility of this office if it’s supposed to be depending on God, first and foremost.”

Or, to truncate: “It takes away from the seriousness…and it clearly hurts the credibility…if it’s supposed to be depending on God.”  Well said, Ms. Stein.

- Zack

I Don’t Cluck Around

When I first saw the God Trumps cards at New Humanist.com, I was upset that Islam was not lampooned.  Terrorists seek to inspire terror.  When you allow yourself to be terrorised, the terrorists win.  The Telegraph wrote that the people at New Humanist were chickens.

That does not apply to all Atheists.  I’m not a chicken.  I’ll go ahead and say it now:  Fuck the skull of Muhammed with a rusty iron vibrator.  Let the camel’s sphincter clinch next time a Muslim goes to fuck it, circumcising the poor buggerer and making him seriously reconsider the doctrine of celibacy.  Not a chicken.

To finish the deck where the creators left off, here’s the revised Islam card:

Hilarious Prices… Always

From FAIL Blog:

Why aren’t we talking about Mumbai?

My Internet connection is currently down due to a nasty trojan virus and will only be back up for a few minutes after I restart my computer.  Hopefully, I will be able to publish this post before the virus overloads my Internet connection again and forces my WiFi card to freeze up.

Because of that, I can’t double-check, but out of the several hundred blogs that I subscribe to in my RSS reader, I can only recall very few of them even mentioning the terrorist attacks in Mumbai (formerly Bombay), India.

The terrorists have killed at least 80 people and injured 900.  They specifically sought out British and American citizens living in or visiting Mumbai.  Due to their specific targets, there is little reason to doubt that these attacks were perpetrated by Muslims.

Over 100 hostages have been taken, but no demands have been made or goals made public as of the last time my Internet connection failed.

A small, little-known terror group is claiming responsibility for the attacks, but few American news analysts, and even even fewer Indians, are taking their claim seriously.  Indian security officials are saying that the attacks were too well-planned and “professional” to be the work of anyone but a seasoned terror cell.

A few news analysts have speculated that the motives of the attacks are similar enough to the platforms of Al Qaeda that the new attacks might have been perpetrated by usual gang of Islamic idiots.

But the attacks lack the usual style of the Al Qaeda network:  The bombers, as far as I know, have not been suicide bombers.  Instead of improvised explosives, pipe bombs and car bombs, the terrorists used grenades and guns.  Rather than taking a small number of hostages to decapitate on film, they took over 100 hostages.  However, the attacks were in a major world financial centre and were highly visible and designed to attract media attention and, in turn, public hysteria.  These are two of Al Qaeda’s calling cards.

Osama Bin Laden is dead.  I think it’s safe to say that now.  His was not the voice of Al Qaeda when the terrorist organisation released its latest tape:  A string of racial garbage against President-Elect Barack Obama.

What do think?  Do you think the terrorists were motivated by secular political strife in the world (global economy, Kashmir), or Islam’s hatred of the West?  Do you think it’s likely that these attacks are, indeed, the work of Al Qaeda?  If so, is this evidence that Osama Bin Laden is dead and his terror organisation is under new management?

Thanksgiving

What am I thankful for?

I’m thankful that this picture exists:

This is HG’s Resident Calvinist, Trey.  I removed his siblings from this photo because I like to think he does this alone on public beaches to frighten impressionable children.

I Can Has Polls?

Kevin pointed out that I can create polls in my blog posts after I used an outside site to host my Christmas gift poll.

Since I usually use Windows Live Writer to write my posts, I missed this new WordPress function, so I’m going to test it out in this post.

NYPost: Snivelling Cunt, Ann Coulter, Can No Longer Snivel

The New York post reports that snivelling cunt, Ann Cunter Coulter Cunter has been silenced once and for all!!! for a little more than a month, probably.

Ann Cunter reportedly broke its jaw–most likely after the cunt said something cuntish to someone who then popped it in the cunting kisser–and the cunt’s jaw had to be wired shut.

If this is true, we will soon get to see Ann Cunter’s true form as its host body will no longer be affective to spread the parasitic cunt’s message and the cunt will have to leave its current body and assume its true form before finding another twisted bitch to become the cunt’s new host.

Black Friday Approacheth!

Black Friday is this week, and you know what that means:  It’s time to start thinking about Christmas Nondenominational Holiday gifts!

Because you are the best blog readers on the face of the planet, I want to give you all a gift.  However, I don’t know what you want.

Take this poll and let me know what it is that you truly desire this holiday season.

Here are your options:

• A chance to win a fabulous mystery prize
• Risqué, but tastefully done, photos of Reed
• A Christmas song composed and performed by Reed and his Mommie
• Embarrassing baby pictures/video of Reed
• A punch in the groin while getting “Rick-rolled”
• A trojan virus

I’ll post the gift on Christmas morning before Santa arrives to eat your young.

You know you’re in Oklahoma when…

Note card posted at the Sam Noble Oklahoma Museum of Natural History

Don’t belive in the Big Bang. explosions Destroy things. like your chance in going to heaven if u belive this crap in this stuff!

Oklahoma, I must ask, what are you teaching your children!

Some Classic Blasphemy

Monty Python, in order to combat the stealing of their clips on YouTube, created their own YouTube channel.  Now I can link to high-quality Monty Python videos without worrying about them getting taken down by the Nazis at YouTube HQ.

Oh… and this is one of the best science songs ever:

And thanks to Alex for pointing this out to me.  He’s an amazing individual and he rides a unicycle, making him even more amazing.

Who Says You Can’t Polish Poop?

Honestly… who says that?  Did Adam and Jaime make up this myth themselves for the sole purpose of getting to play with shit on their show?  What does that even mean?

Gay Dating Sites Suck

Hemant prompted this with a post about eHarmony.com’s new site for gay people.

Blame him.

He says, “She may be confusing X-Rated with purely hookup sites.”

I disagree, to an extent.  Gays have a terrible track record with online dating sites.  I’ve tried using dating sites–pathetic, I know–online and even the sites that are intended to be taken seriously are used as places to arrange motel one-nighters if they’re not tightly moderated.  Even on the sites that are supposed to be for hookups, like Craig’s List, the M4M sections are especially filthy.

The following describes what I’ve seen on the Roanoke Craig’s List boards and may differ from your own Craig’s List experiences.  English teachers shouldn’t click any links below this line.  The spelling and grammar may kill you.

Crisis of Faith(less)

A Christian friend, who no doubt saw the recent Christopher Hitchens debate where Mr. Hitchens was asked a very similar question, asked me if there is a single argument for Christianity that has given me pause.

No, and for that matter, not a single argument for any theistic or metaphysical religion has given me even the slightest pause.  Even when I answer a question with, “I don’t know,” I have always been able to follow that with a, “but you’re dead-wrong.  Let’s go do some research together.”  I cannot be convinced with all the thousands of years of unscientific and, often, downright false evidence piled up over the many thousands of years of religion that any intervening god exists.

Are there arguments for Deism that can convince me?  Not yet, but some have come close to doing the job before disappearing in a puff of logic.  Deism still requires certainty that a sentient being created all things, or, at the very least, set them in motion, and the only thing I’m absolutely certain of is if Chimbley steps on my keyboard one more time, I’m locking him in the bathroom.

Can I be convinced of agnosticism?  Absolutely!  In fact, I already have.  I am an agnostic Atheist.  I don’t know that there aren’t gods, but I can definitely shade the probability toward the no side.

But what of religious feelings?  So many people, when asked about proof for God, talk about the feelings of forgiveness and beauty they find in Christianity.

Gov. Jim Douglas (R, VT) is NOT a Magician

One of the most basic foundations of magic is the sleight-of-hand.  Some are better at this than others.

Vermont Governor Jim Douglas is terrible at sleight of hand:

Vermont governor Jim Douglas would oppose a law granting same-sex marriages, according to the Associated Press. The Republican governor said Thursday that the state’s “current civil union law is sufficient.”

State senator John Campbell, who said he would introduce the bill during the legislature’s next session, said it won’t gain much traction without the governor’s backing.

Instead, the governor said, he would rather the legislature concentrate on the state’s fiscal shortfalls. Vermont has accrued a $36.8 million revenue shortfall, with a $27 million request for new spending. However, Campbell and Vermont’s Freedom to Marry Task Force’s Beth Robinson say that Douglas is asserting that the legislature can only take on one issue at a time.

“The notion that working on civil rights takes away from these other issues really is a false one,” Robinson told the Associated Press. (Michelle Garcia, The Advocate)

So, essentially, the press conference went like this:

AP:  Gay marriage?

Gov.:  Nah… Separate But Equal is “sufficient.”

AP:  But… Brown v. Board of Education…

Gov.:  Hey!  Look over there!  The economy is tanking!  OMG!

(Associated Press looks away as Governor Douglas runs out the back of the room)

Absolutely despicable

Atheist Dog?

I think my friend’s dog is an Atheist…

He’s certainly showing all the right signs.

I’m Not Sure I Like Where This Is Going

In spite of my deep, all-consuming love for Rahm Immanuel, Barack Obama is surroundinding himself with Clintonites and I’m not sure I like this.  We were promised change.  I thought that meant we were going to head in a new direction, not that we were going to revert to the politics of the 90s.  Don’t get me wrong:  The 90s were a decent decade in American politics–far greater than 2000-2008–but it’s time we go in a completely new direction to fix this broken economy.

I understand that the Clintonites appointed to Obama’s administration will have to follow Obama’s plans, and Obama doesn’t appear to be a carbon copy of President Bill Clinton, but can we really expect some of the Clintonites–like, say, Senator Hillary Clinton–to play the bitch to Obama’s butch?

There’s still plenty of time for the Candidate of Change to prove himself, but I’m a little put off by some of his appointments.

Aside from all of that, TheStreet.com had an unintentionally hilarious headline today:  Obama to Tap Clinton After Thanksgiving.

♪  I’ve been really tryin’, baby, tryin’ to hold back this feeling for so long. And if you feel like I feel, baby, then, c’mon… Let’s get it on.  ♫

Louis CK

I love Louis CK.  Phil Plait over at Bad Astronomy just discovered Louis and shares my love for him.

I figured I’d use that as an excuse to share some relevant clips that I find hilarious.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton?

FoxNews.com is announcing that Hillary Clinton has accepted the position of Secretary of State in President-Elect Barack Obama’s administration.  CNN and MSNBC have yet to say anything.

Update: Fox News, America’s Proaganda Network, has changed this story to “Hillary Clinton Expected to Accept Secretary of State Post” and has changed the language of the post without posting a note stating that they were originally wrong or that they based their first report on a bad source.  I need to start screenshotting articles from Fox whenever I reference them.

Even most bloggers have better journalistic ethics than these cretins!