Gay Dating Sites Suck

Hemant prompted this with a post about eHarmony.com’s new site for gay people.

Blame him.

He says, “She may be confusing X-Rated with purely hookup sites.”

I disagree, to an extent.  Gays have a terrible track record with online dating sites.  I’ve tried using dating sites–pathetic, I know–online and even the sites that are intended to be taken seriously are used as places to arrange motel one-nighters if they’re not tightly moderated.  Even on the sites that are supposed to be for hookups, like Craig’s List, the M4M sections are especially filthy.

The following describes what I’ve seen on the Roanoke Craig’s List boards and may differ from your own Craig’s List experiences.  English teachers shouldn’t click any links below this line.  The spelling and grammar may kill you.

In the W4M section, it’s all about finding a nice man to party/dine with before having a romantic evening, “and we’ll see where it goes.”  This is accompanied by a picture of the girl, fully clothed, with two friends at a bar or club.  Occasionally–and mostly in bigger cities than Roanoke–there’s a dimly-lit picture in a full-length mirror of a girl in her panties presenting herself like a mandrill, but this seems to be the exception and not the rule.

In the M4W section, the men lie through their teeth about military experience, manual labour or their weightlifting experience that day before bagging about having a stable job and a steady income and being willing to support a woman emotionally and financially (but you know they’re just looking to screw her and leave her).  The picture is of the man, fully clothed, standing in front of a pick-up truck, loading a mortar shell in their Army fatigues or raising their shirt to show their abs while wearing swimming trunks.  Occasionally you get an ALL CAPS, “I WANNA FUCK SOME CHICK 2NITE!” post with a cell phone quality photo of a dick as it’s being strangled to make it look bigger.  Good luck with getting a woman with that, guy.

The W4W section puts the heteros to shame.  “Looking for a responsible, mature, dominant woman.”  “Looking for my soul mate.”  “Looking for sober femme.”  The lipstick lesbians have headshots with wide smiles and glittering teeth.  The butch dykes have pictures in a mirror wearing pyjama bottoms and zip-up hoodies.  A few M2F trannies get on the board, but it’s always civil and clothed.  Great job, lesbos!  You win the award for least disgusting.

Don’t ever click on the M4M boards.  Ever.  You’ll have better luck finding respectable men on /b/.

There’s no talk of dating.  It’s all, “In town from college/on business/visiting family.  Looking for sex… NOW!  I can host, but be discrete.  Don’t care about drugs or disease.  Just wear a condom. Send pics.  No bears.”  Then you have the swollen, strangled dick pictures on almost every post.  It gets worst around Christmas, for some reason.  The most romantic posts you’ll find are simply looking for handjobs rather than straight-up bum-bum sex.  Although sometimes, a hilarious post comes along to throw pearls of humour to the swine, but that’s rare.

I’ve seen the same trend on dating sites that have spaces for male-for-male personal ads, though usually not as pronounced as they are on Craig’s List.

Why are gays so repulsive on the Internet?