During the teabagging hullaballoo news came out that the Governor of Texas gave a speech flirting with the idea of secession. I’m completely in favour of states like Texas, Alaska, South Jesusina, and Ron Paulitopia seceding. If we can pull the fundamentalists out of our voting population and put them in their own countries where they can no longer influence our politics and dictate their morality in US Law, I would have no problem changing our flag and redrawing our maps. Buying a new flag and reprogramming my GPS seems like a good exchange for ‘Liberty and justice for all,’ whereas all means all, not just heterosexual American-born Christians.
So let them secede! If the flag thing becomes an issue, we can always replace Texas and Alaska with Puerto Rico and Guam. They’ve been waiting for citizenship for quite some time now.
Today’s Superpoop inspired this post:
Something I’ve been trying to say to most everyone who would happily have Texas and related Jesusy states secede this afternoon: Please don’t forget that such a move would make political/religious refugees out of us progressives who live in those states.
I live in Mississippi, have all my life, and I have to say, fuck the Dominionists if they think they are entitled to my little patch. I don’t think I should have to leave.
They shouldn’t get to secede. They should have to grow up.
Comment by eruvande — 27 April 2009 @ 4:27 pm
Yes, but, they won’t grow up. Not only do they refuse to grow up, but I believe that some people who spend 40, 50, 60 years of their life marinating in childish ideology can’t grow up. Asking these people who are thoroughly indoctrinated to see things reasonably is like asking a man with no legs to run a 5K. Let them have their own country and let them learn how terribly theocracies fail. Meanwhile, America will have equal marriage and partnership rights for all citizens, America can again embrace scientific advance and run on a completely green power grid, America will have a stunning education system and foreign students will once again feel proud to be accepted into major US universities… and the list goes on. You’ll just have to move a bit to the West, East or North, depending on where in TX you are, if you want to reap the benefits of a society where progressiveness is the norm.
If that doesn’t sound like a fair trade to you, I implore you to see a proctologist and figure out what’s stuck up there.
Comment by Rev. J. Reed Braden — 27 April 2009 @ 5:30 pm
Nicely put. I had no idea Texas wanted to secede. Now if only all the other bible-hugging states were to follow…
Comment by Celeste — 28 April 2009 @ 3:25 am
If they can find an uninhabited patch of ground, then sure, I’m all for them founding their own little Jebus-based theocracy. I just wouldn’t like being pushed around in my own home, and I wouldn’t like losing to them by being the one to move. Besides, I don’t think pushing the crazies out will magically net us pride, equality, and greenitude; we have too many “moderates” for that.
Personally, I nominate the wide expanses of desert in the West for them, somewhere where not too many people live. Make ‘em feel more in touch with their desert god.
Comment by eruvande — 29 April 2009 @ 2:45 pm
Jesusy states? Seriously dude, grow up.
Comment by KevinQC — 18 May 2009 @ 3:42 pm
You’re a gay Republican who misuses the word whom out of misplaced pretension and you’re telling me to”grow up” for posting satire that you don’t understand? Responsible adults don’t cling to political ideologies that hate them. (You might try Libertarianism: It’s slightly less fallacious than Republicanism and isn’t doctrinally opposed to buttsex outside of airport bathrooms.)
So… hello Pot, you may want to look in the mirror before throwing that racial slur at me again.
Sincerely,
Kettle
Comment by Rev. J. Reed Braden — 18 May 2009 @ 6:10 pm
This time stay on your side of the damn country!
Comment by Anonymous — 21 September 2009 @ 8:59 pm
please don’t forget Alabama and Tennessee, We want to get the hell away from you damn yankee’s too!! Maybe this time you will not terrorize and invade a foriegn county like you did the CSA.
Comment by Anonymous — 21 September 2009 @ 8:57 pm
The majority of Texans don’t agree with our governor. The secessionists are really just a little fringe element out in the countryside.
Comment by Ian — 29 April 2009 @ 2:52 pm
With all the wonderful communist and socialist countries to choose from, why not just pack your bags and move to one of them instead of trying to (in the name of social justice)force a country that was FOUNDED as a REPUBLIC? Surely they will welcome each of you with open arms into the societies of which you fantasize and ferverently desire.
Because… it is not about each of YOU living YOUR lives in accordance with YOUR values. That is not sufficient for those of your ideaology. You want to FORCE others to live according to YOUR preferences, YOUR ideals, and YOUR precepts. You care not that you force your fellow man into circumstances that make him feel enslaved and oppressed so long as it suits you.
The world has an abundance of regions for you to choose from that already embrace your philosophies. Why not just go to one of them? Why INSIST that America, which has a character that is unique, become something other than what she is? America is the last refuge on earth for those of us who cherish the ideals of this country as put forth by our founding fathers in the Constitution of the United States of America.
You and those like you have a variety of options before you on where to live in your idea of Utopia. We have no options. So, what choice are you leaving us? Capitulate quietly and resign ourselves to lives of utter misery under a socialist or communist regime which is anathema to our very souls? Commit mass suicide and leave you to your Utopia? (How very “urbane, progressive, civil, evolved” and “humane” of you!) Or we must fight with every ounce of strength that we have to survive and hold on to our ideals.
You claim to be so caring and concerned with society and the well being of the oppressed. And yet you hesitate not for an instant to oppress those unwilling to fall in lock step with your agenda.
You would annhilate those who support views very different to your own. You would silence those whom you so despise for their principles. Yet it is because of those hated principles, and those who fought and died for them, that you are permitted here today to voice your hatred. Ironic is it not?
And what is even more ironic? Though I find your cadre to be misguided, hate filled, myopic and utterly incapable of critical thinking or realization of your own hypocrisy, I and my fellows would lay down our lives to defend your right to continue to be the sheeple that you are.
Do not misunderstand. There are sheeple on the left, the right, and in the center of the spectrum. And it is you, the easily led proletariate, that make the world go ’round. True freedom, brotherhood…a Utopia could be achieved in the world if you ever evolved and learned to think for yourselves instead of being lead by the nose. You trust the propaganda and rhetoric of political parties rather than truths you can see with your own eyes and hear with your own ears.
You take what politicians say at face value rather than develop critical thinking skills of your own to rip away the masks of these bastards and see them ALL (right and left) for the self serving bastards that they really are. If someone spews meaningless words that seem to reflect your worldview then surely they are your “Messiah”. Of course there is no way they could have a hidden agenda and be whispering sweet nothings in your ear simply to increase their own control and power. No! Never! Not YOUR heros! Forbid!
So just run along after tem blindly sheeple. Sell your freedoms and those of your fellow man for pretty lies.
Baaaa!
Comment by TheInnerParty — 21 August 2009 @ 11:11 pm
Oh look! The anti-progress fuckwit said BAAAA! after his post! Just like real sheep do!
Comment by Rev. J. Reed Braden — 22 August 2009 @ 2:48 am
This language doesn’t suprise me coming from a Rev.
Comment by Anonymous — 21 September 2009 @ 9:02 pm